6 keys from the edge…

The “-logue” that comes at the beginning

Time check: 6:00pm

Location: My Office… not in an “I have my own office, with windows and a desk and what not” sort of way.

I’m engaged in some very serious issues. Nuh, kidding, I’m just chatting with the blogger known from time to time as Rev. I can’t remember much of the discussion, but I think the word “boobs” came up once or twice. Was it about porn? No? Oh that’s right, it was the word booze. So it must have been about drinking… No? Ah, yes, it’s coming back to me now. It was about boots. Said something about needing some… then we steer chat towards the topic of the BHH. I complain that 6:30pm is like so far away. I cuss at my computer for lying to me. It’s saying its 6:15pm, but I know better. It’s (as you may have deduced from the first line) 6pm.

Rev tells me the announcement shoulda read 6pm, but somehow the thirty appeared seemingly of its own uh, own-ness!

It suddenly occurs to both parties in this chat session, that I happen to be in the same environs as the Blogger we call Baz and the one we call Heaven. As Rev. suggests that I should hook up with them and go for the BHH with ‘em, my phone rings as it is wont to when someone dials my number.

My ringtone is the song “STRONGER” by Kanye West. For some reason it seems a little slower than the song he sampled; Daft Punk’s, “Harder Better Faster Stronger cooler dumber greater later faker weaker kneecap…”

It’s Baz on the other side. Speak of the devil methinks. SPOOKY! I tell him I am heading to the BHH, but I think there’s more to this convo as well. I think the word “Kiss” appears. No? Keys, then. Yeah, we talk about keys. No, that can’t be right. Why would we discuss keys? Peace? The war in the north? Or some chic by that name… Oh that’s right, it’s Piece!

I am supposed to submit my piece for the paper. The one we call the leading daily. I look at the blinky light thingy that usually winks at me from the modem to suggest that pieces of internet are tickling its insides as they come to my computer. Its not winking. I realise that the winkage can only mean that the internets have decided to wait before venturing forth into the modem. I am without a web. Curses! I tell Baz that I will send it first thing in the morning.

I notice that there’s about 5 minutes left to the BHH. Awesome. What is not awesome is the fact that I have both a jumper and a shirt with long sleeves. I certainly can’t wear both. And the sun has forgotten this is the part where it is supposed to make like electricity and go. I dilly dally for a bit and wait. I publish the piece below this one in a bid to pass time and make the sun go away. I turn off my computer and leave the jumper at work and take my long-sleeved-army green-with a skull thing to the BHH. Read more

I’m doing this in real time..I am writing this as I watch coz I have a spade’s ability to recall stuff.

Also, I have to keep darting back and forth so I can work on a Big Brother Africa recap.

Please note that I do NOT appear in this documentary. My stunt double does, sporting a rugged look…and a confused expression. Most. Of. The. Time.

This is what’s happening….

The Communist edition of Cribs.

What Kampala looks like through a communist’s eyes (with help from NOKIA) at 7am.

I half expected some dude to jump in and take the phone at this point…

Lines of code on a communist’s monitor at work. (Man, it’s The Matrix all over again!) The big HAIR OF REV that was banned from cyberspace.

Statistics in Danish. You might grasp it, but from where I’m sitting its all Greek to me… well, more like white Greek text on a black screen…only it is not really Greek. Its Danish.

A part with my stunt double claiming to be anti-government.

A red carpet type thing where we all come in like celebrities.

Technically, it is a red carpet thing sans the red carpet….

Oh look its Sage, and Dee… and Rev returning the Nokia…and wrong-looking candle holders. Bad Mateos, BAD!!

Ladies and Gentlemen: Happy Hour!!

Wow! Its Baz….and SUBTITLES!! And more exclamation points in this post than you can shake a blog at!!

Bloody stunt double has the attention span of a diskette!

I could do with a Danish to English translator right about now. My limited Danish knowledge extends to…well, it is limited.

SAGE blogs because he wants to make a difference. His jam is playing in the background and yes, it has made a difference.

Dee has her reasons…. ( you need to get the blogumentary to see)

Country Boy wants to headbutt the camera, but its all good. He has a hat! Actually all the guys seem to have hats… What? Product placement!

Scratch that, Dennis doesn’t have a hat… come to think of it he has quite possibly the shortest hair in this piece yet… if you overlook the beard.

We are now seeing Carlo‘s Kampala…Uganda… well, Carlo is the star of the show right now… ehnth time I find myself going shopping with a girl. This has to stop!

Wow! And that’s all I’m saying… wow you guys!

Cute scene involving kids that also want to headbutt the screen. I blame this on Zidane… or Tyson…or Country Boy… or MTV.

We are now in Gulu. Excellent, that’s a trip I’ve been spared. Anywho, you have to see this bit.

And now Rev. has dreads…I missed the transformation…

Sara, Maria, Kirstine and Annette have put together a piece worth watching. I certainly don’t regret giving the Blogumentary 15 minutes of my life…and now we wait.